Playing Patient
My body needed fluid
There wasn’t any left I was dehydrated
Dangerously dehydrated
But my own actions were futile
Useless
I drank and I vomited
Vomited everything water came up
Water the traditonal route via hand to cup to
Mouth to
Body
Failed.
IV fluids intravenous fluids were the only
Option I had not choice to
Live I needed IV fluids
Doctors tried to insert the tube in my
Vein but
Failed.
Collapsed vein.
Overused vein.
Too many needles for
Too many IVs
Over months of dehydration and vomiting from
Gastroparesis. What’s that? I’ll google it says
Admitting nurse at the
Emergency room of NYU hospital.
We could try her neck, jungluar
vein always works. She needs a
PICC line, central line, but it depends how
Often she needs IV fluids will she
Continue these bi-weekly
Dehydration vomiting emergencies? Will she get the
Gastric neurostimulator? Will she get in to see the
Specialist? Will her
Insurance foot the bill? Approve her
Need? Will she meet the
Criteria for the FDA
humanitarian use? Will it
Work? Sixty percent
Success rate,
Odds are good. How long till it
Kicks in? Could be a week, months,
Never. Hard to know. Let’s do the
PiCC. Meanwhile, my
Body still needs external nutrition and liquids, I
Wait, hands to cup to mouth to body
Fails so I can wait,
Patient is the name of the game. I
Like to win games so I wait. But my
Body is too much for the doctor? You’re back again! Yeah, not much we
can do for gastroparesis, you have refractory gastroparesis. I
Google, it means none of the meds work for me.
Family? Haven’t showed to the hospital its been
Months of frequent trips.
Refractory body feels too hard for me, too, but I
Like to win games. Once I
Forfeited, I gave up on my body via
Oxycodone to hand to mouth to body. It was a
Close call but it
Failed. I’m grateful now. I
Like to win games. Don’t call me refractory. I’m
Still here.
